Lifes in Mono

Recently i was very frustrated with my social life, I am so misfit into the social life and never mastered the social skills with all the cool people. 

I embarked myself on a period of experimentation to gain the experience and knowledge that i might have miss out. 

This include involving myself intiating social interactions with maybe thousands of people from all sorts of life, infact, many have become my friends. 

I also learn about how attractive people think and feel and about social dynamics overall. haiz...

I also discovered profounds inside of myself and made some major changes and lasting transformations. Which is good i hope. 

I learned that most significant element in interacting with people is to be yourself, be honest of who you are. as long as you have improve urself to fit into something, you will never be ashamed.



I took a stand on things about myself that i have always wanted to change for years but somehow i never follow through with. And now at the ripe old age of 37. I also try to took up new hobbies and learned new skills that i had wanted to pursue for years but kept putting off. Another words means i stopped making excuses for myself and my social life... and start to take responsibiliies of my own life.



Most of all, i concluded myself for awhile to date many guys which i think its a nice person, but.. it doesnt lead me to a sustained happiness.. 

I think i should instead chosen to have a meaningful, long term relationships. I do not think there is anything morally objectionable casual encounters between mutually consenting adults, nor do i have any major regrets about my past. yet those experiences contibuted to making me the person i am today. Isnt what we have in the past gave us more adventage of what we have now? 



Though it took me until my early 30 to figure out things socially. guess its never too late to realise my own dreams. Without those experiences, i would likely never have learned enough about myself or matured enough emotionally to approach anyone. While i might slip away much of my social life in school days and my 20s.. i now have a whole range of life opportunities open to me that i could have only dreamt of a mere 5 years ago.... 

Guess its never too late to become whoever you want to be...

I realised that i am not as noble as i though i am through relationship, I might be independent, but yet i am no different with any other woman. 

I need attention, i need love, i need to be cuddle, i need to be hug, i need to have someone by myself and i need support. Being able to soclal doesnt bring in much advantage of getting happiness quickly, but do give an advantages of approaching without much hestitation. 

Many realise i am too straight, some friends advise me not to be too independent. But isnt being independent a good thing? 

Some of my friends even said i am too stubborn faithful.. but isn't this a good thing too?

 Being in this age of mine, i realise that relationship is like flying a kite... think about it why. 



Have given up someone i thg i dont picture future together and someone giving me up... .One by one.. So whats next?