我为人人，但没人会为了我。

Its more than the time I always believe that, as long as I put in effort and do my best, things will be the best as I wanted. Towards relationship and friendship and family, I have been given my best shot.

For family; I use my entire life to make things happen to what it should be happen. I make sure my parents has a place to stay and need not worry much about anything except their own children.

For love: I know my expectation on my love on are so extremely high that no one can even get near to the target. But what they didnt know is that I only ask them to be more sensitive towards how I feel, take me as priority and loves me to the end. I never expect them to be the best in everything, to be, when I choose them to be mine, they are already the best. I only need them to put me first, love me forever and adore me for who they really love as well as keeping their promises when they made

For my friends: I always be there when they needed me, given them my support when they needed one. Every moment when they need me to do something for them, I would do it for whatever reasons, even there is a slight impossible, I make it possible. But to them... I somehow a person who they have a choice to make what I wish to have happen. Its never their first choice of trying to help when it come to giving it to me. Well... Edward is right, he said that I dont own anyone anything and neither do they own me anything. So... was it time for me to reject them at some point of time rather than kept giving....

Sometime... I feel that I may be asking too much... but really? Or am I being taken for granted?

What It’s Like To Be Cheated On By Someone You Love More Than Anything - SUCKS

It’s funny how often “forever” seems to never last.

We all make promises, of course. We tell people we love them, we care for them, we could never live without them, but most of the time it turns out to be nothing more than empty, wishful thinking.

Yet, we need to make these sorts of promises. People need to feel a level of security in their relationship in order to be happy – it’s human nature. But are we ever really secure?

There are a hundred ways to lose the one you love, to get your heart broken; however, none are worse than getting cheated on. Cheating is something I never condoned nor, to be honest, understood.

If you don’t care enough for the person you claim to love to keep it in your pants, then you may need to rethink how much you actually care about him or her.

Don’t give me any of that “I have needs” crap; we all have needs. The person you’re with has needs – he or she needs you to be loyal.

Being cheated on is arguably the worst feeling in the world, emotionally speaking of course. It can be detrimental. I was cheated on once in my life – that I know of – and it’s not an experience I’m eager to repeat.

If the person you’re in love with cheats on you… words can barely do the pain justice. But I’m going to do my best and try anyway.

At first, you don’t want to believe what you’re hearing.

Most people find out their partner cheated or has been cheating on them from a third-party source. Rarely do people have the courage to own up to their actions and be the ones to tell their partners what they did.

Most often, you’re never actually meant to find out. Most cheaters are chronic cheaters – this is why we have the saying, “Once a cheater, always a cheater.”

While this is a bit too broad to be true in every case, the fact is many of those who cheat do so because they believe it’s OK to do so. So they do it regularly.

Chronic cheaters will never be the ones to own up to what they did, so hearing it from your friends can be… difficult. You’re likely to not even believe them in the first place, trying to rationalize with yourself, thinking that they must – for whatever reason – be trying to sabotage your relationship.

When I was cheated on, I didn’t find out from friends. I heard it directly from the source. And you know what? It was still hard for me to believe.

I just didn’t want to accept what had happened because as soon as you accept it, it becomes real. And once it becomes real, so does the pain.

Your world, as you knew it, crumbles.

The ground beneath your feet begins to fall away into the abyss, and you’re left with nothing to hold on to.

It’s one thing if someone you’re casually or semi-formally dating cheats on you, and it’s another when the man or woman you love decides you are no longer good enough for him or her.

Because that’s what it means, doesn’t it? You loved this person with all your heart, and it turns out that you were only being delusional. The reality that you created for yourself has vanished in an instant, and you feel completely and utterly lost.

Your entire future has just been rewritten – and you now have no idea how the book is going to end. That’s the worst part of being cheated on.

It’s not necessarily that your ego gets hurt and bruised that rocks your world; It’s that the entire future you planned for yourself disappears, and you don’t know where to go from here.

Your ego gets hurt, and you begin to question yourself.

You begin to wonder if you are as great of a catch as you thought you were. You thought you were smart, good looking, caring, loving, a great pick for a life partner.

But then the person you loved, the person you decided to dedicate yourself to, throws you to the side of the road as if you were garbage.

Having someone dump you is one thing. Sometimes things just don’t work out, and you have no choice but to accept the situation as it is. But getting cheated on is different. Getting cheated on is a clear message saying you are the problem – that you just aren’t good enough.

Half the time, people cheat on their partners with one-night stands – complete strangers. How else can you take such an act? You’ve basically been told the person you love would prefer sleeping with just about anyone else than sleeping with you. Or make things worst, someone you know, someone you trust or someone you cant even imagine...

The worst part is you’re likely to begin to believe you aren’t good enough. You’re likely to question yourself, question the person you are, the choices you’ve made in life.

This can be an earth-shattering experience, as we all take pride in being the people we are. Yet, how can you continue being proud of yourself when you basically just got spat in the face and kicked to the curb?

You do your best to figure out a way to keep going.

After a few months of wallowing in your own misery, you’re going to have to put yourself back together again. Some will decide to get a better grasp on their lives and reality, to focus on themselves and their work.

Others will decide that what they really need in their lives at this moment is a bit of debauchery – completely understandable under such circumstances.

The hardest part, of course, is going to be letting go of the ones you love. Just because they cheated on you doesn’t necessarily mean you stopped caring for them. In fact, that’s rarely the case.

People tend to want to hold on tighter whenever they’re being pushed away. It’s not the smartest of habits, but it is one that most people have in common.

If you loved someone, moving on is always difficult. Possible, but difficult. 

He or she cheating on you will likely make it a bit easier, as you can focus all those negative and aggressive emotions in his or her direction, but at the same time, the pain you feel will only further remind you of what this person means to you.

Or meant to you. You’re still uncertain of which it is.

-an article from with some of my own thoughts

Paul Hudson

STAFF WRITER

The truth about the truth

My ex and I ROM in March 28. It was a short courtship. We know each other for 1yr plus. however, since we are not young anymore and we both know what we want. He decide to proposed to me 5mths after into a relationship. Seriously I was happy when he do so. As we know, we wanted to be together with each other. 

To me, I enjoyed the courtship, the freedom I have for doing whatever I want, the freedom of going out with my friends to suits my own entertainment, marriage was a far to dream affair. But when i met him, the way he treated me, he made me feel that he really loves me, he made me feel wanted, he made me feel I wanted to be with him for my lifetime. Therefore... for all those fake thoughts I decided to accepted his proposal and signed on the dotted line. I know, the moment I signed, I will give all of me to him... 

But I realised that the moment I signed that dotted line, everything changed. He Changed. 
Strange thing is.. After his proposal. We seem to have alot of disagreement than before. 

1. When I met his parents and family for the 1st time. I was being ignored by them for the 2 hour dinner. No one was asking me question like most people would. I mean, arent they curious about his son's girlfriend/wife to be? They dont ask where I work, work as, how many sibling I have, my family background etc.. make it worst... the only person who keep smiling at me the whole night is the maid of his brother. He did ask me how was it after the dinner... I told the truth.. and he said his family is like that?? 

1. When I ask him "what is relationship to him" after he proposed. He said relationship is like a business. I was so upset by his replied at the start. Business? Does it mean that its just a pay and get service type of relationship or a relationship that require certain return? Becos of such. I actually feel so sad that I almost wants to break up. I rejected his proposal immediately after knowing such, I told him that marriage is not a business. It require alot of hard work and make it thru. I feel that relationship should be a committment on both to make things work. But he explained that his "business' means "serious"? And I getting something wrong hereI have declare and confess to him that I am a high sex drive kind of person. But for such declaration. I was told by him that I should control myself. It become something weird and wrong with me. physical contact is important. If that is a barrier with him. I believe its good we talk things out and decide on our future. How can a married couple live together with physical contact?

1. He always comparing me with his brother's wife (a malaysian whose family is in malaysia and only 1 sister in spore). He has his own business that deal with religious stuffs, who I am a free thinker. he expect me to be at his stall often and would expect me to help out in the stall after marriage. I am reluctant to do so, as I explain. I dont have such believe and I dont think I can help. I can only offer myself to be there helping during special occasion (like CNY) when its really busy. But I need to have my reunion dinner. (they dont have reunion dinner due to the business... oh.. its a family business). I mean... the bro's wife can help all she wants becos she didnt have her own family to take care of. But I do. 

1. He feel that I dont put in efford to mingle with his family. His bro has attitude problem. And everytime I strike a conversation with them, He will just ignore me. all because of a misunderstanding and my ex idiot way of handling thing which makes his bro think that his elder brother listen to everything I said. Which is not true.I get along quite well with the mum . But the sis doesnt seem to be happy for his elder bro to have finally found his happiness. Well, she did trying to convince me that our fate has ended when things goes wrong instead of helping us patching up the break.  I have try so many ways. I often bring down dinner to his stall for them. buy them lunch whenever I can.The fact that I always tell him is. The stall is where his work is. And I dont find it a good idea to disturb his "work" no doubt his sibling is always there and I shd be there to get along with them. But.... If I can do nothing there and just loiter around like a ghost. Why do I have to do so? I have already did what I can... But its never enough.

I actually feel very reluctant about signing the paper with him. I make a feel question to myself and him. I suggested that he shd buy a house under bachelor scheme, so that we can stay together and get along first, but this suggestion was being deny. end up, I was being accused of not serious in our relationship. He said its not fair to my as a girl to stay together with a man without married. Thats why he insist on getting married first.

He convince me that he will take care of me, protect me and share my burden that makes me believe that I should married him without thinking much. And I do. 

He know my weakness, I am someone who are craving for security, a man who loves me enough to accept who I am, someone who accept my family, someone who I can rely on. The moment when I decide to sign the dotted line, I have told myself that this man will be my one and only. The Man I will be with and take care off, to love and to hold to my last breath. I may nag abit on things that I dont wish to do, I may throw a little tantram over little thing he found is not important, I may say things that I dont mean to say just to catch his attention but I will never abandon the loves I grow with him. But with my determination to make our difficult relationship work, I found out how amazing it is for someone who claim his love for me was just a lie.



Just 4 mths after we ROM. He said he want to annul our marriage. 

Reason given was... He is very stress... He is drain and have no heart to carry on. 

he give me excuses on an unknown future, telling me that we will not get along and will end up divorce in future. He is stress for the preparation of the wedding which I am the one doing all the thing. He is drain when I told him to put a little support on me and on us and also put in a little effort on the marriage. He is the one wanted to have a wedding banquet not me. And all I did was wrong and making a big fuss. I am the one who is trying so hard to let save alittle money on the wedding he wants, which I do all the research, I look for the photographer, the invitation card, the sisters and brothers dressing, the honeymoon, all those little things for the wedding, the songs, the montage, the editing of our wedding photos, the updating of blogs for our friends to see, the guest list. And I need to do all the communication with the prewedding photography issue in taiwan, I need to research the day tour in taiwan, the research on the company we are going, the make up artist, the photographer etc and yet, he told me he is very stress with the wedding. tired? drained? stressed? tell me about it. 

It is amazing how he can just walk out of our marriage. Giving no reason, just excuses. hurting me like I am his worst enemy. He can continue to eat, sleep and work like any other day leaving me devastated, pain and sadness... I will cry every night to sleep. break down into depression. 

Yes we have alot of disagreement and we might not be compatible as mentioned above. But when I decide to take him as my man and make my vows. I decide to love him till dealth till us apart, How can he just do this? other than the pain we have and disagreement we had. We had so much happiness moment before... I dont understand how he do it. 

I knew about his history, His parent was divorce, from his mum, she told me that when the kids was still young, her husband bring back a women and asked the wife to get along with her. If I am in his place, I doubt I can tolerate such action. MY HUSBAND having an affair and still request me to get along with the women who stole my husband? I know she was very naggy, her thinking is weird, but does all these given a man the reason to have an affair and betray their marriage and trust? As a husband, as the father of the child, your responsibility is to provide a safe and better environment to your family, give your wife a full support, if you are not happy about her behaviour, her speech, communicate, tell her... work on it not escape from it, not keeping everything from it and at the end of it, complain about it and just leave. You call this responsible and commitment? 

From their story... I feel pity of her mother, even when they have family dinner, her dad will be so sarcastic, i feel the hurt as a women, I feel the sadness in her eyes... as a child, when you see ur mum being bully this way, why dont u feel that? Am I being too sensitive? Maybe I am. 

For this... I admit I am being over sensitive. I started to feel ashamed for his father and sometime a little disrespect his father. There is once incident when his father came to his work place while I was watching movie with my ipad behind his stall, I refused to greet his father but was told to do so, out of my stage of mind, I said " I dont like people to force me to do something I dont like to do" haiz... Yes I know... Because of this, he said I dont respect his dad. Well. I agreed. I apologise to him for what I did and from than, I tell myself... I must treat his mum better and take care of her and as for their history, I guess I have no right to be involved, it was than I have stop all those childish behaviour towards his father, although I still dont really like him for what he did, but I always remind myself he is a senior that I need to show respect. 

But.... this was the thorn in his heart, a person who is so petty, a words that I said that was never forgive and forgotten by him. And everytime we had an disagreement, he will bring this up as a reason to put the faults in me. I do agree I am wrong, I say sorry.. I never do it again... but his accusation on me will never come to an end. And even one of the reason he gave for annulment. 

And every night when sex was require by him, he can forget all these and said he loves me. And when he is angry... all the happiness moment, all the good I have given is forgotten. And every time he made a mistake, I can always keep myself in silent and ignore him. For what I know... when a person is upset nothing nice will be out from our mouth, therefore I chose to be silent. And I will always speaks my mind to let him know how and why I am unhappy about his behaviour, I dont believe in making him guess, I prefer facing it, but it seem like a crime to him. 

How can a man not ready to commit and not will to take his responsibility married a innocent victim? Trick them into marriage and give up and walk off just like that...

Alot of marriage was sacrifice because of their childish behavior and mental issue. How many of us has fall into such victim? 

If you said that I have be slapping him, screaming at him or having an affair, I definitely know that such behavior is unacceptable. But for his bloody reason he gave just to escape from his responsibility and commitment... I really wish the Karma can happen.
I know time can heal the pain. But the scar will remain forever. I am tired... 

I hope this asshole will not haunt for another victims, I hope no heart will be broken by him. I hope I am his last.

分手是件好事吗？

有人说信任就像一张纸
被揑皱了就再也回不到原来的样子
相爱的人因为信任，放心去爱
因为失去了信任 战战兢兢的爱
没有信任的爱到最后剩下的都是伤害

在爱情里留下的伤痕
是埋界上最难 愈合的伤口
因为它伤在一个别人看不到
你部无时无刻感受到的地方

虽然爱情 有眼泪 也有心碎
但是我们不会因为这 好事 样 而害怕流泪
重复的哭泣一味着我们重复的微笑过

当两个人不能再相爱 与其笑着拥抱
不如笑着分手
分手快乐何尝不是件 一分手快乐

分手后可从重来？

在网上，看到了这文章，好有意识

如果两个人分手后做了2月友一那说明我从没爱过你

如果两个人分手后依旧可以做朋友做的事一那说明我想让你记住我

如果两个人分手后我不再见你并大声说我恨你一那说明我不舍得离开你

如果两个人分手后我们在彼此的世界消失了一那说明我真的爱你

分手时，沉默是最好的问题，最圆满的答案

恋爱是甜蜜的，分手是难免的，谁不是哭过几次，痛过几次，才找到最后的爱， 分手是必经的，但有些问题不必问

1.不要问：为什么要分手，无论答案是什么，都是你难以接受的原因

2.不要问：你有没有爱过我，爱过如何，未受过又如何，总之这一刻就是不爱

3.不要问：我做错了些什么，爱不是讲对错，而是讲感觉，相爱是谈情，不是讲理，当爱的感觉已经不在，对或错又可以挽回什么？

4.不要问：我有什么不好，他有什么好？我有什么比不上他。何必逼对方，再一次侮辱你，打击你的自信心

5,不要问：难道你不汇得以前我们快乐的时光，他要离开你，就是上为他得不到快乐或者他要现在的快乐，和将来的快乐。

6.不要问：不如我们重新开始，这个哀求，只会让他觉得你更可怜，更可卑

7.不要问：我们以后还可不可以做朋友，这样拖泥带水，对方只会感到厌烦。

我一直说一句话．．．．．．

爱是最美好的回忆，爱过了，就要学会知足
回忆是美丽的，珍藏走过的轨迹

握紧现在有的章福

想你的夜

分手那天 我看你是远
所有承诺化成了匂点
独自守在荡的房间
爱与痛在我心里纠缠
我们的爱走到了今天
是不是我太自私了一点
如果爱可以重来
我会为你放弃一切

想你的夜 多希望你能在我身边
不知道你心里还能否为我改变
想你的夜 求你让我再爱你一遍
让爱再回到原点

-关喆

The Questions we always ask ourself........

When a relationship failed, we always come to a point when we asked ourself "N" timessssss... Why?

You will never know the reason why a person change, you will not understand how can a person who said loves you will just leave you for the most stupid reason, the person who cares so much for you can divert their love to someone else, the one who is always there for you no longer there.

When a relationship failed, it fails, If you want to walk out from it as soon as possible, think ahead, dont ask why he/she leaves you. Ask what should I do better for the next relationship.

If you can fall in love with this asshole/bitch, you definitely can love again on the next one you meet. Its the matter of how open you can be after the hurt you gone through.

In a laid man term, we always blame our heart for being stupid to believe, to trust and to love the one that hurt you. But it is because of the hurt, you love before. If he/she doesnt, he/she dont love you at the first place. The inital talks that they give are all lies, isnt it the best thing to realize the lies? And of cause we would rather live happily in the lies than knowing the truth. Who doesnt? But trust me, the lies would not last.

When alot of people tells you "time heals". IT DOES. The most scary thing about our human brain is, we forget, we change. We might still remember the hurt we had before, but the pain wont last that long. you will hate the person still, but the it wont last that long either.

I always blame myself when a relationship failed. Many of my friends said I shouldnt as it is not my fault.

Yes I know. But blaming the other party bring the more damage. I am not blaming myself till the extend that I feel that everything is my fault. But I blame myself for trusting the person who hurts me, I blame myself for relying to much on the person who hurt me, I blame myself for not knowing it earlier and I blame myself for not believing how I feel earlier. If I realise all those above hurt is not what I am feeling.

How many of us already have that feeling that its going to happen? How many time we already feel that its not going to last. How often do we feel that something is not right? Yet, we blind ourselves with the uncertainty and carry on to pretend we are happy? And of all these, who else should we blame?

Dont feel sad to be on your own again, be brave, be happy. I would rather be myself who hurt me than with someone who dont love me and hurt me again and again.

Remember the pain. Learned from it, achieve the "walk out" success. Feel alive, love ourselves.

At the least, times really heal, and single is GREAT!!