Lost it

The lost I will never forget... it was only 9wk with me... and I thg something was not right as my menses come in a very wrong way... but the pain was the same as I had before and nothing seem different, till I was told the possibility, I cannot imagine that, I can only cry... I feel weak.. I feel sad.... I feel empty.... I feel hopless...

I cannot take it.

I cannot accept it...

I lost a husband... and now this... why?

Is this fair to me? what have I done? This is all his fault...!!! I wont forgive him... If he had not done this to me... If I have not been so devastated. All this will never happen. He deserved to be punish... I want him to regret this for the rest of his life...

I didnt dare think... I didnt want to, No one can understand the pain i have been going thru... and still accepting the fact that the one I loved was so cruel to have just treat everything as normal. I know its wrong to just let time pass by and heal the pain. But what else can I do when I have no one to turn to? If only he given us a second chance, U will have ur chance to grow... U will be someone else.. U will be able to see the world, U will be able to know how cruel life is.

Trust me.. I tried, I have try talking. I have tried reasoning. But he said.. he has no more feelings and didnt want to put in effort to walk on. He said "happy married, not happy divorce" He pushed me away when I hold him.. U feel that already didnt u? I think U chose to live somewhere else and didnt want to burden me becos U know it wont work, thats why U left right?

I really tried... I really do...