不是在內心為對方做了很多事對方不知道。
愛是清楚地知道自己想和對方在一起，
愛是行動，是在對方臉上看到幸福笑容的滿足。
相信自己比全世界任何其他的人更能讓對方快樂、
更願意努力去做、並且不計代價地做到。
這是愛的期許、責任、更是自信
Tuesday, 31 December 2013
愛是
愛不是思念、不是自苦、
不是在內心為對方做了很多事對方不知道。
愛是清楚地知道自己想和對方在一起，
愛是行動，是在對方臉上看到幸福笑容的滿足。
相信自己比全世界任何其他的人更能讓對方快樂、
更願意努力去做、並且不計代價地做到。
這是愛的期許、責任、更是自信
不是在內心為對方做了很多事對方不知道。
愛是清楚地知道自己想和對方在一起，
愛是行動，是在對方臉上看到幸福笑容的滿足。
相信自己比全世界任何其他的人更能讓對方快樂、
更願意努力去做、並且不計代價地做到。
這是愛的期許、責任、更是自信
Good Bye 2013.... And Good Bye to the love I loved before
Time passes like wind.... today, its the last day of 2013...What have I done?
I did what I dreamt to do, I done what I never expect to do.... And lost what I never thg I would lost. I gain something I never thg I would gain. That is 2013.
I hope he learn how to love someone.
Hoping he really love someone and not let her cry like I did.
I admit, I dont really love him at the start. Its nothing I expect to have happen. But I did
But When I did.. He throw it all away....
If there is a day where u missed me sometime... I hope U remember this
" I didnt leave you... U let me go"
I have never thg it will end this way. And I thg ur love and mine will conquer it. But we didnt. Because you never love me like the way u said u have or had.
So...
I hope my 2014 is a good one with good things happen. I wish to lost the memories of 2013, as its not worth keeping.
I hope my heart can be heal in 2014.
Good Bye!!
I did what I dreamt to do, I done what I never expect to do.... And lost what I never thg I would lost. I gain something I never thg I would gain. That is 2013.
I hope he learn how to love someone.
Hoping he really love someone and not let her cry like I did.
I admit, I dont really love him at the start. Its nothing I expect to have happen. But I did
But When I did.. He throw it all away....
If there is a day where u missed me sometime... I hope U remember this
" I didnt leave you... U let me go"
I have never thg it will end this way. And I thg ur love and mine will conquer it. But we didnt. Because you never love me like the way u said u have or had.
So...
I hope my 2014 is a good one with good things happen. I wish to lost the memories of 2013, as its not worth keeping.
I hope my heart can be heal in 2014.
Good Bye!!
Sunday, 29 December 2013
Friday, 27 December 2013
放弃与勇敢追逐
“每个人的选择不同当然人生际遇也不同，有些人有梦想有实力却被现实搁浅，然后一蹶不振；有些人搁浅了也不服输地将小船推回海里，一次又一次拼死不放弃，于是这些人噙着泪终于到达彼岸。生活其实没什么可怕的，它能打倒的仅仅是从一开始就退缩的人。”
不去追逐你所渴求，你将永远不会拥有。不往前走，就将永远停留。
Owen Yap
不去追逐你所渴求，你将永远不会拥有。不往前走，就将永远停留。
Owen Yap
Saturday, 21 December 2013
心里的位置
总有一个人，一直住在心里，
却告别在生活里．
忘不掉的是回忆, 继续的是生活：
来来往往身边出现了很多人
总有一个位置，一直没有变．
看看温暖的阳光,偶尔还是会想一想
你为那一个人保留的容位，
在心房.
-叶剑锋
Friday, 20 December 2013
伤疤
伤疤之所以会疼，是因为我们热衷于去抚摸，去回味，去示人。
若情动于记忆，必心痛于过往.
愚者伤之更甚，智者伤而了弥坚。
时光会熨平一切悲欢，
无须太多的惆怅、抱怨、愧恨，
过去没删去，末来岂会来.
要相信那些你无法战胜的、克服的、隐忍的、宽容的，都不曾置保于死地，却今我更坚强
胡德国谚语这么说：＂木结，是树木结疤的地方，但它是树干最坚硬的地方。＇人，何尝不也这样？让伤疤告诉自己：有人要置你于死地，却忘了你能置于死地而后生。
受伤了，死不了，
我其实比我想象中坚强．
Wednesday, 18 December 2013
Monday, 16 December 2013
他的价值
凡是陪过我们一段的人，
必定有他出现的原因与他存在我们记忆中的价值，
也许不愿意想起，但也不须抹煞，
不必言恨, 也无需原谅，
如果爱情曾经伤害过我们，
何尝不是我们先点头同意；
如果没有得到什么,
那就等到些什么吧
如果痛，就要痛定思痛。
学到东西是一种礼物
哪怕，教价学习的那位老师叫做＂疼痛＂
Sunday, 15 December 2013
想念BB而泪流的第几晚
原本说好不在流泪,
但听到这.我的心开始痛，泪不停流
＂命里有时终需有，命里无时某强．＂
明天会开始下雨了，因为每当我难过流泪时,老天爷也会为我哭泣．
他们说被伤的人很伤心
其实伤害别人的人也会伤心．
真的吗？
那，，，那个伤人的人要有心才会伤心啊
如果设有心的人根本不知道什么是伤心．
BB也许天知道如果你活下来
你的命将会不完美
所以天将你收回，让给另一家
如果这样会给你一个完整又完美的家
我会为此感到快乐，
天也知道那个人不配有你
所以天将你收回他们的身过
谢射天的安排
也许我可以给 BB全部的爱
但BB的人生将会很痛苦．
我明白上天要我有耐心的等待
等持那一天他们将把你再一次给我
为了这一天
我会将身体养好．
等待 BB的到来，
Saturday, 14 December 2013
A real man
The memories I had to lock away.. But will never forget.
Looking at my friend wedding album, didnt really makes me sad. But the fact that I saw the stuffs I gave her makes me heart ache abit
The Ang Bao box was design by myself and my friend did it for me. It was suppose to be use on my wedding night... The hard work that put it in was never appreciated... And keeping it was so painful. I gave it away since someone needed.
The same thing happen to this friend of mine, same feelings, same fear, same trouble.... yet, what she had is not what I have.. She have a understanding husband who stand by her patiently, take all her shits when she is not happy, endure all her temper when she throw them, comfort her whenever its necessary.. and there they go.. overcome with every hardship and get their happiness.
My ex was never a man that I wanted him to be. When all the stress and trouble I face, no doubt I understand he had no idea what to do. But with his love to tell me he cares and support me was nothing he can do. He said I wanted him to say something he didnt want to. So by saying "dear.. I know its hard.. but we can go thru it.." its nothing he can say.. by saying "dear.. I know its too much, I know u are very stress.. why dont u give in a little.. since u already did a good job" its nothing he would like to say. This are statement of mine, definately not wanting him to say the same. But to really truely loves his wife and say some encouraging words seem so difficult for a man who keep saying "I love you" to you. So does that "love" really mean something?
Its not the wanting to change a person into another. But with love, ultimately, we will become someone better. without love, it will still be us, the one who only think about ourself and no one else. He is the one selfish man who judge me from loving myself and not him who eventually only love himself rather than anyone else. Not willing to make the love grow, but taking granted that love will eventually grow is not possible.
I have enough of crying... I told myself I will never cry anymore. I had a dream... or maybe a thg.. she said : "mummy... dont cry anymore. U are gg blind soon if u keep crying. I know u miss me, I forgive u. its not worth every tears u shed, becos he will never feel a thing for you, for me, for us"
I know BB. I will never forget what happen. But i didnt really want to remember. I will keep u in my heart, my memories... But I will have to lock this somewhere else. No one will ever touch it, No one will ever find it.
I love you.
Good bye angel. I hope u will be mine again one day. ! Let me compensate you for the rest of my life.
The Ang Bao box was design by myself and my friend did it for me. It was suppose to be use on my wedding night... The hard work that put it in was never appreciated... And keeping it was so painful. I gave it away since someone needed.
The same thing happen to this friend of mine, same feelings, same fear, same trouble.... yet, what she had is not what I have.. She have a understanding husband who stand by her patiently, take all her shits when she is not happy, endure all her temper when she throw them, comfort her whenever its necessary.. and there they go.. overcome with every hardship and get their happiness.
My ex was never a man that I wanted him to be. When all the stress and trouble I face, no doubt I understand he had no idea what to do. But with his love to tell me he cares and support me was nothing he can do. He said I wanted him to say something he didnt want to. So by saying "dear.. I know its hard.. but we can go thru it.." its nothing he can say.. by saying "dear.. I know its too much, I know u are very stress.. why dont u give in a little.. since u already did a good job" its nothing he would like to say. This are statement of mine, definately not wanting him to say the same. But to really truely loves his wife and say some encouraging words seem so difficult for a man who keep saying "I love you" to you. So does that "love" really mean something?
Its not the wanting to change a person into another. But with love, ultimately, we will become someone better. without love, it will still be us, the one who only think about ourself and no one else. He is the one selfish man who judge me from loving myself and not him who eventually only love himself rather than anyone else. Not willing to make the love grow, but taking granted that love will eventually grow is not possible.
I have enough of crying... I told myself I will never cry anymore. I had a dream... or maybe a thg.. she said : "mummy... dont cry anymore. U are gg blind soon if u keep crying. I know u miss me, I forgive u. its not worth every tears u shed, becos he will never feel a thing for you, for me, for us"
I know BB. I will never forget what happen. But i didnt really want to remember. I will keep u in my heart, my memories... But I will have to lock this somewhere else. No one will ever touch it, No one will ever find it.
I love you.
Good bye angel. I hope u will be mine again one day. ! Let me compensate you for the rest of my life.
Friday, 13 December 2013
未來
朋友之間很少談論未來，但是未來他們往往還在一起；
戀人之間總是在談論未來，但往往沒有未來。
最使人疲惫的往往不是道路的遥远，而是你心中的郁闷；
最使人颓废的往往不是前途的坎坷，而是你自信的丧失；
最使人痛苦的往往不是生活的不幸，而是你希望的破灭；
最使人绝望的往往不是挫折的打击，而是你心灵的死亡；
如果开始时没有期望，往往不会有失望。
如果开始时没有认真，就不会有感伤。
如果开始时没有开始，就不会有痛失的悲伤。
不是不愿意看淡，开看，而是我们人有心，有感情，有感觉
所以会不舍，会难过，会流泪。
人，常常因为心事过重，而走不动。
没有感觉的你，没有悲痛的你，没有不舍的你，还是人吗？
戀人之間總是在談論未來，但往往沒有未來。
最使人疲惫的往往不是道路的遥远，而是你心中的郁闷；
最使人颓废的往往不是前途的坎坷，而是你自信的丧失；
最使人痛苦的往往不是生活的不幸，而是你希望的破灭；
最使人绝望的往往不是挫折的打击，而是你心灵的死亡；
如果开始时没有期望，往往不会有失望。
如果开始时没有认真，就不会有感伤。
如果开始时没有开始，就不会有痛失的悲伤。
不是不愿意看淡，开看，而是我们人有心，有感情，有感觉
所以会不舍，会难过，会流泪。
人，常常因为心事过重，而走不动。
没有感觉的你，没有悲痛的你，没有不舍的你，还是人吗？
Thursday, 12 December 2013
Sharing the burden and pain
I always believe that I should let my pain be within me, sharing with others might not help in anyway. It only bring them sorrow and sadness. The most they can be worried, be sad like u are...
I have try so hard to face the pain on my own. I used to have someone I thg I can share with... thg my life was different... thg I found someone I can let my burden be with, in fact I was not being share with my burden or trouble, but yet, the one who said wanted to share my burden and sarrow was the one who add on to my pain and hurt me the most.
I know its his choice to give up, to escape, to run away...
I know its his choice to be this heartless.
Till now, I couldnt understand... why can a person be so heartless... I wonder... what does he made of?
The man who hug me and said love me.. was it really meant to be? Or was it just saying becos he think its time to say?
The man who proposal to me and said wanted to make his wife... what does a wife mean to him?
The man who vows to death till us apart, does he know what does that mean when he said I do?
I believe everyone has their short coming.. I have, and so is he.. When a person didnt see his own, what does this make him?
I know my short coming, and that is the reason why I make him promise to just take it, becos my forgiveness will coming in short period of time. Becos I know I can be angry, I am be disappointed, I can be upset... But with him.. it will not be forever... I will always find a way to forgive him, find a way to accept that he is like that. I accept who he is and forget about everything... But he couldnt.
He said he couldnt be the person I want him to be, a supporting husband, a caring husband, and a loving husband. Than what kind of husband can he be than? A selfish, foolish and dumb husband?
What does love means?
Love is not in accepting the person than what it is?
I wish I can have the answer. I believe BB want to know why too.
But we will never know. And I dont really wish to know.
Just hope that he can learn to love before he losts everything....
I learned mine...
Wednesday, 11 December 2013
也许我真的变了
也许我真的变了
变得不再对所有人好了
谁对我好 我就对谁好
许多以前看不惯丶看不爽的事
我都学会放下， 视而不见了
即使遇到什么委屈的事
伤心个几秒后 就会让自己好起来了
没有人会陪我经力事情的
只有我自己才能去克服
很多时候， 男人会让你觉得他爱上你，
其实他真没有爱过
爱一个人是不会让他爱的人受伤，难过，流泪
但他给我的爱是 受伤，流目，难过，失望…
我学会要爱他就是包容他的一切
他学会了爱我是伤害我
剑锋说：
你的人生永远不会辜负你的，
那些转错的弯，那些走错的路
那些流下的泪水，那些滴下的汗水，
那些留下的伤痕
全部让你成为独一无二的自己
再不堪的过去 也不能阻止你有很不错的后来，
除非你现在自已放弃。
走过低谷，走出的是一片天，依然不明白的所以为然
“心情不好时，要经常问自己，你有什么而不是没有什么。
如果你觉得不爽，你就抬眼望窗外，世界很大，风景很美，机会很多，人生很短，不要蜷缩在一小块阴影里。
如果你的生活已处于低谷，那就，大胆走，因为你怎样走都是在向上。”
走过低谷，走出的是一片天。- Owen Yap
Owen 说的没有错， 我已经失去了我人生的一切，还有什么可以失去？
因为爱错了
因为信错了
我依然相信当时我的选择是对的。却没想到的是我的爱给错了方式。
我从不会一头的将全部的爱放进去的。但因为我相信他，所以我把全部放了进去。
我还告诉自己，我跟了他，选了他，我会爱他一辈子，不会做对不起他的事，不管怎么样我会以他为前提。
不不能说我是个贤妻良母，但基本的忍让我会尽量去做。
当他的弟弟给我脸色看，对我不理不睬时，我忍。因为就算我说了他也会说，他的弟弟是这样的。
他能了解我的感受吗？
其实对我而言，这一切根本不重要。因为要和我过一辈子的不是他的弟弟，他的妹妹，也不是他家的认和一个人。是他。
但他却一而再再而三的要我去迁就，和他们沟通，真的很不简单。
我觉得，只要我们不吵架，每天心平气和的过日子不就很好了吗？
要真正的象一家人一样需要很长的时间相处才做得到的。
我不明白的是，为什么非得逼我们马上变成一家人呢？
说真的，其实我看不到他家人有为他要成家而开心。
他的亲戚反而比他家人开心。也许是他们家人沟通的方式吧。
当他把我介绍给他的亲戚的时候，他们对我的欢迎是很真诚，可以看得出他们多么的为他开心，也很真心的为他开心。和他的亲戚相处反而比较自在。
当他向家人宣布他求婚的喜讯时，说真的，他的家人有为他开心吗？
以其说“wow。。太棒了。。恭喜，太好了终于找到了”
还是 “ 这么快？你想清楚了吗？”
如果是我哥哥，我会为他开心的说。。“真的？太好了”
而不是质问他想清楚了吗。因为不管什么决定。我们应该为他开心。
我并不是讨厌他的家人，我觉得他的妈妈是为非常善良的人。和她相处我没有什么不开心的。只是爱念了一点。我也觉得她的妹妹是为很善良的女人，很能干，和她相处也挺好的。他的弟弟其实不喜欢我是因为她认为我再控制他的哥哥，他认为他的哥哥变得什么都听我的。其实他不知到的是。他的哥哥并没有听我的。一切都是他哥哥的决定。因为那时有个星期六，他要他母亲去帮忙开始，他的弟弟就开始对我非常的冷淡了。我当然明白。因为如果是我，我也会对那个人开始讨厌。
对我而言，这一些根本不重要。他们爱我也好，讨厌我也好。我不在乎。我依然对他们笑，对他们好。因为对我最重要的是“他”。
因为父母不可能一辈子在我们身边，
有一天他的妹妹会出嫁的，成立她自己的家庭。
他的弟弟也已经有他自己的家了。
到后来相处一辈子的只有我和他。
不是吗？
如果你觉得不爽，你就抬眼望窗外，世界很大，风景很美，机会很多，人生很短，不要蜷缩在一小块阴影里。
如果你的生活已处于低谷，那就，大胆走，因为你怎样走都是在向上。”
走过低谷，走出的是一片天。- Owen Yap
Owen 说的没有错， 我已经失去了我人生的一切，还有什么可以失去？
因为爱错了
因为信错了
我依然相信当时我的选择是对的。却没想到的是我的爱给错了方式。
我从不会一头的将全部的爱放进去的。但因为我相信他，所以我把全部放了进去。
我还告诉自己，我跟了他，选了他，我会爱他一辈子，不会做对不起他的事，不管怎么样我会以他为前提。
不不能说我是个贤妻良母，但基本的忍让我会尽量去做。
当他的弟弟给我脸色看，对我不理不睬时，我忍。因为就算我说了他也会说，他的弟弟是这样的。
他能了解我的感受吗？
其实对我而言，这一切根本不重要。因为要和我过一辈子的不是他的弟弟，他的妹妹，也不是他家的认和一个人。是他。
但他却一而再再而三的要我去迁就，和他们沟通，真的很不简单。
我觉得，只要我们不吵架，每天心平气和的过日子不就很好了吗？
要真正的象一家人一样需要很长的时间相处才做得到的。
我不明白的是，为什么非得逼我们马上变成一家人呢？
说真的，其实我看不到他家人有为他要成家而开心。
他的亲戚反而比他家人开心。也许是他们家人沟通的方式吧。
当他把我介绍给他的亲戚的时候，他们对我的欢迎是很真诚，可以看得出他们多么的为他开心，也很真心的为他开心。和他的亲戚相处反而比较自在。
当他向家人宣布他求婚的喜讯时，说真的，他的家人有为他开心吗？
以其说“wow。。太棒了。。恭喜，太好了终于找到了”
还是 “ 这么快？你想清楚了吗？”
如果是我哥哥，我会为他开心的说。。“真的？太好了”
而不是质问他想清楚了吗。因为不管什么决定。我们应该为他开心。
我并不是讨厌他的家人，我觉得他的妈妈是为非常善良的人。和她相处我没有什么不开心的。只是爱念了一点。我也觉得她的妹妹是为很善良的女人，很能干，和她相处也挺好的。他的弟弟其实不喜欢我是因为她认为我再控制他的哥哥，他认为他的哥哥变得什么都听我的。其实他不知到的是。他的哥哥并没有听我的。一切都是他哥哥的决定。因为那时有个星期六，他要他母亲去帮忙开始，他的弟弟就开始对我非常的冷淡了。我当然明白。因为如果是我，我也会对那个人开始讨厌。
对我而言，这一些根本不重要。他们爱我也好，讨厌我也好。我不在乎。我依然对他们笑，对他们好。因为对我最重要的是“他”。
因为父母不可能一辈子在我们身边，
有一天他的妹妹会出嫁的，成立她自己的家庭。
他的弟弟也已经有他自己的家了。
到后来相处一辈子的只有我和他。
不是吗？
Tuesday, 10 December 2013
抽痛
是不是做错了？
好久没有这抽痛的感觉了。是不是因为不舍得？
其实我也一样。从知道了之后，我没有一天是不哭的， 没有一天不心痛。但是又能怎样？BB 没事的。 要知道，他就厉害的是逃避，不会去面对的。就算知道了，他也不会相信的。他就是这样的一个人，不敢担当的。所以不要在弄痛我了好吗？
要保佑我早点找到一位可以值得託付終身的人。MM 有去为你拜拜哦。
痛已是一辈子的。但我没能忘。不会忘。
My tears will never dry, but am not sure will I be blind one day....
She told me its not worth crying for the man who is not worth crying for...
But my tears shed becos of my precious... every memory and thoughts makes me weak.
The abdominal pain come in every time I start to stop thinking. I thg I can have a good night sleep. But I cant. Not sure for how long can I last...
Everytime, I wish.. if I can be knock down by car and forget about everything... Its the most wonderful present.
I dont know what have I done. What bad did I do... to have such happen. I didnt put myself into a situation to met someone who is not serious and lead my life like hell.
I .....
好久没有这抽痛的感觉了。是不是因为不舍得？
其实我也一样。从知道了之后，我没有一天是不哭的， 没有一天不心痛。但是又能怎样？BB 没事的。 要知道，他就厉害的是逃避，不会去面对的。就算知道了，他也不会相信的。他就是这样的一个人，不敢担当的。所以不要在弄痛我了好吗？
要保佑我早点找到一位可以值得託付終身的人。MM 有去为你拜拜哦。
痛已是一辈子的。但我没能忘。不会忘。
My tears will never dry, but am not sure will I be blind one day....
She told me its not worth crying for the man who is not worth crying for...
But my tears shed becos of my precious... every memory and thoughts makes me weak.
The abdominal pain come in every time I start to stop thinking. I thg I can have a good night sleep. But I cant. Not sure for how long can I last...
Everytime, I wish.. if I can be knock down by car and forget about everything... Its the most wonderful present.
I dont know what have I done. What bad did I do... to have such happen. I didnt put myself into a situation to met someone who is not serious and lead my life like hell.
I .....
The risk of letting him know
I made my decision of letting him know what happen. But I hope he act like an adult to cause no more harm to anyone.
The reason why I wanted to let him know after keeping it to myself for months.. Becos of the search on the ROM website.
I realise that once a couple is marriage and no matter how hard we try.. Its always been "married" in record. Guess thats why people said married is a lifetime. haha.. I hope the web dont keep the record for life time.
I have been grieving for months no able to walk out of it. I am not sure how he felt after knowing what happen. But for all the experiences I had with him. I know he have ways to connivence himself that all this are lies, fake. Well, at least when I complain to him able how I was treated, He said " I dont believe u, Its all U.. never happen" remember?
Anyway, I didnt let him know to conivence him that such things happen, if there is a need, I would have use this as reason to blackmail him with lots of money to compensate me. Anyway, I have all the records etc...
It doesnt matter BB. we dont need him to acknowledge. we dont need him to accept it, we dont need his concern. U have me, who will always feel your present. But u are naughty to have slip in without notice u know..haha.. Dont know how u do it. Becos it was near to impossible.
But the person who calculate my life was so super accurate. He said I have 2 marriage in life. And I have 3 kids and 1 cannot survive. All these happened. The next one will be my health, He said I would have a big issue on it and its a matter of life and dealth, If I can get thru, I will, if not.. than I will meet u lor. somewhere.. hahaha. We should see should we? I prefer to meet u anyway.
But hor.. Doc said its still in a very early stage, its not even a life yet. But to me, it is. I can see u like a pea before its all gone. But life is amazing. How can one sneak in and out without me noticing..
Come to think of it. I notice my change in appetite, eating so much.. and I become so emotional. feel nausea every now and than... but my menses come as per normal, that is why I feel odd. But who knows its all normal situation? He wear "hats" leh... But there are time where it slips off definately... wow.. didnt know I am so "strong" hahaha.. maybe the folic acid helps.
There is nothing I have left with me but memories... as u are going off totally soon.
也许你的决定是对的。因为我可能没办法给你快乐和幸福。
因为你感受到我的痛，我的伤。
看到我每天的眼泪。
爱你一辈子。
The reason why I wanted to let him know after keeping it to myself for months.. Becos of the search on the ROM website.
I realise that once a couple is marriage and no matter how hard we try.. Its always been "married" in record. Guess thats why people said married is a lifetime. haha.. I hope the web dont keep the record for life time.
I have been grieving for months no able to walk out of it. I am not sure how he felt after knowing what happen. But for all the experiences I had with him. I know he have ways to connivence himself that all this are lies, fake. Well, at least when I complain to him able how I was treated, He said " I dont believe u, Its all U.. never happen" remember?
Anyway, I didnt let him know to conivence him that such things happen, if there is a need, I would have use this as reason to blackmail him with lots of money to compensate me. Anyway, I have all the records etc...
It doesnt matter BB. we dont need him to acknowledge. we dont need him to accept it, we dont need his concern. U have me, who will always feel your present. But u are naughty to have slip in without notice u know..haha.. Dont know how u do it. Becos it was near to impossible.
But the person who calculate my life was so super accurate. He said I have 2 marriage in life. And I have 3 kids and 1 cannot survive. All these happened. The next one will be my health, He said I would have a big issue on it and its a matter of life and dealth, If I can get thru, I will, if not.. than I will meet u lor. somewhere.. hahaha. We should see should we? I prefer to meet u anyway.
But hor.. Doc said its still in a very early stage, its not even a life yet. But to me, it is. I can see u like a pea before its all gone. But life is amazing. How can one sneak in and out without me noticing..
Come to think of it. I notice my change in appetite, eating so much.. and I become so emotional. feel nausea every now and than... but my menses come as per normal, that is why I feel odd. But who knows its all normal situation? He wear "hats" leh... But there are time where it slips off definately... wow.. didnt know I am so "strong" hahaha.. maybe the folic acid helps.
There is nothing I have left with me but memories... as u are going off totally soon.
也许你的决定是对的。因为我可能没办法给你快乐和幸福。
因为你感受到我的痛，我的伤。
看到我每天的眼泪。
爱你一辈子。
Monday, 9 December 2013
沒事有我在！
幸福不是房子有多大，而是房裡的笑聲有多甜；
幸福不是能開多豪華的車，而是與你同行的人能否陪你走到終點；
幸福不是愛人多漂亮，而是愛人的笑容多燦爛；
幸福不是在成功時喝彩多熱烈，而是失意時有個聲音對你說朋友別倒下；
幸福不是聽過多少甜言蜜語，而是在你傷心時能有人對你說：沒事有我在！
幸福不是能開多豪華的車，而是與你同行的人能否陪你走到終點；
幸福不是愛人多漂亮，而是愛人的笑容多燦爛；
幸福不是在成功時喝彩多熱烈，而是失意時有個聲音對你說朋友別倒下；
幸福不是聽過多少甜言蜜語，而是在你傷心時能有人對你說：沒事有我在！
Sunday, 8 December 2013
I am sorry
1 month ago....I lost my hope, I seem like losing everything....
The most impt thing I lost is not marriage, not a family, not a husband... But my precious.... But I didn't know till it happen...
The most impt thing I lost is not marriage, not a family, not a husband... But my precious.... But I didn't know till it happen...
I am so sorry.... I don't know what to do... I don't know what happen.... Please forgive me.
Its been 1 mth plus.. I still feel so tired, weak and restless....
9 weeks its also a life... Its a new life.... But becos of my carelessness... But how can such thing happen.. I didnt even dare say this to anyone.. nor to my best pal who cry with me... I know she cannot take this at all.
Everytime thinking about it, I will cry.. Was this all suppose to be happening?
I live a life like before. We always use protection, even was told its "negative" why suddenly its gone?
I dont believe this will happen. But my heart is aching like hell. I dont know how long can I stand this... How much more can I take this... I would rather die to feel the pain...
Its still bleeding till now.. but doc said it will stop eventually. It will flush out everything and I will be fine. I still have hope he said. Just need to think positive now.
Now I am back with medication to prevent myself to go back to depression. Is he suppose to know? I dont think so, even he gets to know, for what I know him, He will denied the true, he will pretend nothing happen again. haha.. what can u expect from a heartless person?
Its been 1 mth plus.. I still feel so tired, weak and restless....
9 weeks its also a life... Its a new life.... But becos of my carelessness... But how can such thing happen.. I didnt even dare say this to anyone.. nor to my best pal who cry with me... I know she cannot take this at all.
Everytime thinking about it, I will cry.. Was this all suppose to be happening?
I live a life like before. We always use protection, even was told its "negative" why suddenly its gone?
I dont believe this will happen. But my heart is aching like hell. I dont know how long can I stand this... How much more can I take this... I would rather die to feel the pain...
Its still bleeding till now.. but doc said it will stop eventually. It will flush out everything and I will be fine. I still have hope he said. Just need to think positive now.
Now I am back with medication to prevent myself to go back to depression. Is he suppose to know? I dont think so, even he gets to know, for what I know him, He will denied the true, he will pretend nothing happen again. haha.. what can u expect from a heartless person?
Friday, 6 December 2013
心痛的感觉
心痛到底是什么感觉？我深深的感觉到它。
心痛是一种非常难受的感觉。原来爱一个人是那么的不值得
我的心依然的在痛
泪依然在流
他却那么的容易放下，那么轻松，那么的无情
当初为什么要说爱
爱就是要得到自己的快乐而已吗？
爱一个人不是要接受他的一切吗？
到头来。。。什么都不是。。
好累！ 如果有的选，我真不想做人
因为做人太累了。
Monday, 2 December 2013
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