The risk of letting him know

I made my decision of letting him know what happen. But I hope he act like an adult to cause no more harm to anyone.

The reason why I wanted to let him know after keeping it to myself for months.. Becos of the search on the ROM website.

I realise that once a couple is marriage and no matter how hard we try.. Its always been "married" in record. Guess thats why people said married is a lifetime. haha.. I hope the web dont keep the record for life time.

I have been grieving for months no able to walk out of it. I am not sure how he felt after knowing what happen. But for all the experiences I had with him. I know he have ways to connivence himself that all this are lies, fake. Well, at least when I complain to him able how I was treated, He said " I dont believe u, Its all U.. never happen" remember?

Anyway, I didnt let him know to conivence him that such things happen, if there is a need, I would have use this as reason to blackmail him with lots of money to compensate me. Anyway, I have all the records etc...

It doesnt matter BB. we dont need him to acknowledge. we dont need him to accept it, we dont need his concern. U have me, who will always feel your present. But u are naughty to have slip in without notice u know..haha.. Dont know how u do it. Becos it was near to impossible.

But the person who calculate my life was so super accurate. He said I have 2 marriage in life. And I have 3 kids and 1 cannot survive. All these happened. The next one will be my health, He said I would have a big issue on it and its a matter of life and dealth, If I can get thru, I will, if not.. than I will meet u lor. somewhere.. hahaha. We should see should we? I prefer to meet u anyway.

But hor.. Doc said its still in a very early stage, its not even a life yet. But to me, it is. I can see u like a pea before its all gone. But life is amazing. How can one sneak in and out without me noticing..

Come to think of it. I notice my change in appetite, eating so much.. and I become so emotional. feel nausea every now and than... but my menses come as per normal, that is why I feel odd. But who knows its all normal situation? He wear "hats" leh... But there are time where it slips off definately... wow.. didnt know I am so "strong" hahaha.. maybe the folic acid helps.

There is nothing I have left with me but memories... as u are going off totally soon.

也许你的决定是对的。因为我可能没办法给你快乐和幸福。
因为你感受到我的痛，我的伤。
看到我每天的眼泪。
爱你一辈子。