Sunday, 8 December 2013

I am sorry

1 month ago....I lost my hope, I seem like losing everything....

The most impt thing I lost is not marriage, not a family, not a husband... But my precious.... But I didn't know till it happen...

I am so sorry.... I don't know what to do... I don't know what happen....  Please forgive me.

Its been 1 mth plus.. I still feel so tired, weak and restless....

9 weeks its also a life... Its a new life.... But becos of my carelessness... But how can such thing happen.. I didnt even dare say this to anyone.. nor to my best pal who cry with me... I know she cannot take this at all.

Everytime thinking about it, I will cry.. Was this all suppose to be happening?

I live a life like before. We always use protection, even was told its "negative" why suddenly its gone?

I dont believe this will happen. But my heart is aching like hell. I dont know how long can I stand this... How much more can I take this... I would rather die to feel the pain...

Its still bleeding till now.. but doc said it will stop eventually. It will flush out everything and I will be fine. I still have hope he said. Just need to think positive now.

Now I am back with medication to prevent myself to go back to depression. Is he suppose to know? I dont think so, even he gets to know, for what I know him, He will denied the true, he will pretend nothing happen again. haha.. what can u expect from a heartless person?

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