Relationship that goes wrong

Its been awhile since... and of course every little thing can triggle the pain. It's not the hurt that causes the pain, but the memory of us that makes it sad.

I have only flash of happiness moment we had together. And those we dont, I need a hard time thinking.

But when a relationship failed, its always the 2 that play the big part, like they said, it takes both hand to clap, To work it out also require both parties hard work, but 1 person can cause the damage.

Having to think from the beginning... the first meeting, it was not a good impression on both of us between the both of us. He is never the type of guy I wanted to date, and definitely not the type of person I want to be with. I believe he had the same feelings as I am because since I am not interested, I am always making things difficult for the other party, like being meant, being sarcastic etc. I also get to know that he actually have a own business which require him to work like 7days a week. For me, the most important love language is "quality time" and I believe this is something he couldn't give me in future. But he said, since business is his own and time definitely is not an issue as it can be arrange.... But this is not true.

I was very surprise to receive another text from him again asking for movie. Well.... no doubt I dont like him, but it was near my place and I have nothing to do, therefore I went out with him again. He was very gentleman and very sensitive guy from a start. And being with him seems comfortable. After the movie we went for dinner at Jurong point. I cannot remember was this the 2nd movies we went to or the 1st, but his enthuse and sensitivities change my concept about him.

The night after the dinner, he text me, asking whether is it possible for me to be his gf. Honestly, I dont see any comparison between us, and there is so much different between us... In religious, culture, eating habits and most importantly the "quality time" issue. .... I even told him all my bad habits and my bad temper. But he said he knows and have thought this over already and he said he is accepting who I am. I dont know whats get into me.... and I actually agree to it.

Honestly speaking. I cannot get myself into this relationship at all, I am trying very hard to commit into it, I even told myself he is not the one. But his sincerity, his patient, his sensitivity moves me. And when he left Singapore to do volunteer in Cambodia, I was impress with his kindness towards the people there, and I tell myself "someone with big heart is definitely a good person".

While he was there, he try his best to text me whenever he manage to get a WIFI. sending me photos of his whereabouts. Was quite irritating, but was also sweet. As a couple, I would definitely love the action he had done, but because I havent really committed into the relationship yet, I was very irritated by his action.

For the past weeks/months while we are together, he will always surprises me with his action. He said he remember I love surprises and he said... more surprises will come.. I was delighted. When I am sick, he make his way to my office to bring me to doctor, send me home, cares for me... I told myself that he is the one... Someone who really care for me, Someone who cherish me, Someone who treasure me as "bao bei" Since then I was over the moon. I feel like I am the more blessed girl in the whole world and heaven finally see my hurt and listen to my prayer and send me an angel to be with me. I mean when we are in a Family… our parents have to spilt their love between the sibling and ourselves, and the sibling will have their own friends and family. Who is the person who is going to be with me for long??? There is no other than the partner we find for ourselves.

But couple always have couple issue... There are part whereby we need to get along more. And I will have to be honest about how I felt for him and was hoping he do the same. And this is where everything went wrong.

I remember I confess with him about my sexual desire.. I told him that I was a high drive person and sex is very important to me. Instead of being impressed, he said that something might be wrong with me and I need to control myself. WHAT? I am not sure whether is he telling me a joke or was he serious, but I did clarify this and very sure he said was what he thinks. OK.. This is no joke, Sex is a part whereby a couple need to enjoy it. But if my partner is not into this.. Than... It will lead to a tragedy. For this answer, I have pull myself off the hook. I cant accept this. Therefore, I make a decision to end it asap. So I told him, since its not our common thoughts on this, we should end this relationship before we fall deeper. I was sad, I was disappointed.

For this, he appear in my office and beg me to listen to his explanation. he cried that night and so am I. He said he didnt meant what he said and he dunno why he always put our relationship in hot soup, he admitted that he is not good with words and blah blah blah.... I dont know at this point whether is he telling the truth, I am not sure after this, will he try so hard trying to impress me. But I didnt really just give up our relationship at that point, I was disappointed, but I still want this happen. I accepted his excuses and apology and we continue...

For months we are together, we always have hicups, its always what he said that pissed me off or upset and hurt me.

The worst nightmare I had its his family dinner. When he decide to introduce me into the family. I was excited, I tried to learn what Patents is in chinese, I even talk to myself and see whether my explanation work, I am eager to meet them because since Steve, I have never been serious about relationship or met a guy who are serious about it. I even ask him what I need to wear to look good and he suggested that top he likes and commented I look good on that, and I worn it to that "SPECIAL" dinner.

To my horror... the 2 hour dinner was torturing me. No one was interested about me, no one talks to me except him, no one smile at me for more than 5 min, no one give me the eye contact for more than 5min except his brother's maid. And make things worst, he saw his old colleague and was chatting away for the past 30mins. I feel so awkward that I really want to leave the place immediately. I didnt even dare took out my hp to play game because I was bored as it is rude to do that, playing away my phone... But NO ONES TALKS TO ME!!!!!!!!!!  I was like a transparent glass... I so wanted to cry... so wanted to leave... So being ignore... and the feeling of being ignore is damn uncomfortable. But I chose to stay, becos I treasure the man beside me, I dont care what and how the family treat me, the most impt to me is the man I am spending my life with. So I tell myself this... and carry on... if it was me before, i would have given a silly excuse and left.

After the dinner, he send me home, he can even ask me how it was? OMG!! Well, I am not a person who pretends nothing happen. I told him exactly how I felt; Guess what, he said, his family is like that. WHAT??? I began to wonder... what is this dinner about?. Introducing me into the family? Or just to see the actual person and after seeing... hm.. Ok lor, nothing else.. He told me that I should get along with them often, so as to know each other better and get use to it... well... I was shivering down my spine. My mind was telling me... PLEASE NO MORE DINNER....

The thing is, I am not being difficult, I am not wanting to be like a STAR of the family that everyone need to pay attention to me, But when your SON had finally got a GF and being a family, they should show interest on the person their son love isnt it? I dont need super attention actually, but at least show interest by asking me something like my family etc... Even thought you might have know, but just make me feel welcome. And he being with the SON of the family who should help me failed to do so.. What would u expect me to do?  I have been nice to stay till end of it, ask around those people who knows me, I would have just left like I mentioned, who will sit down there kuai kuai for the 2hrs being ignore and treat invisible??? I doubt he can do the same for me if it happen to me.

I understand when I like a person, I have to like the family too, and getting along with the family is also a MUST, but somehow he couldnt understand. I AM A STRANGER to his family and they are STRANGER to me too. And the only person that both side know is HIM. And whether to mingle or get along require his help to put us together. And not tarnish my name infront of them.

He would always complaint things to his sibling whenever we have a disagreement, telling them what I told him. Like the company outing... he promise to go even after asking him several checks for the past 2 mths. Than at the last min, he told me he make a mistake and he cant go. I mean... I already paid and registered why NOW? Then he begin to said he will do something about it. And his "do something" is insist on taking off on a SAT, whereby his sister and father is going china to get stocks and leaving his younger brother alone mending the stall and get his mum to stall for help. WHY? Because he wanted visit USS and have fun with Jennie. WTH....??? What for this, what does ur family think about me? I am being unreasonable, and making him doing such a thing, they properly start thinking... hey... my bro is not like this before he know this woman... and now because of this woman, he just go and get mum to help and tired everyone.??? NO WAY

I cannot agree on this, I tried stopping him doing so, but he said he insist on doing it.. Great!! Now my name in his family are worst than whatever. I am upset not becos he cannot go for the company outing, I am upset for him to do such a thing. How can he ask his mum to mend the shop and he just enjoy himself elsewhere? And of cos I didnt go with him, and guess what, it was during my exam period and I really have no extra mind to think about what should I do next... therefore I told him, I need to have peace for my study and we talk about it after my exam.

To be Cont...............